So, I Had This Idea Several Years Ago

So, I had this idea several years ago that the way I would save myself would be to show us all the simplest truth we had ever forgotten. I had this idea that although I couldn't bring my mother back or dry her infinite tears or stop her from swallowing those pills, I could heal her. I had this idea that I although I couldn't protect my daughter from all the cruelties in this world, I could protect her from the fallacy that she wasn't enough, just as she is.

I had this idea that I would no longer work just to make a living, (frittering away my time, my energy and my gifts for a paycheck) but would live to do that which ignited me - use my words and my art to help the women around me believe that we are boundless, timeless, powerful and oh-so-very-beautiful.

I had this idea that I would look, really look for that one thing that makes you a miracle, and then I'd show you in pictures the sublimely perfect imperfections I see. I had this idea that when you left me after our time together, you would be bold and fearless and joyful and wild, as a child spinning, breathless, laughing, crying out, "Look at me! Look what I can do!"

I had this idea that you would look at your pictures and remember that feeling over and over again for the rest of your life - even in the everyday mundane - and so you'd walk with a little more sway in your hips and a soft smile on your lips, this feeling warm and reassuring inside you... your treasured totem held loosely within your palm, shoved down inside your pocket.

I had this idea and I went for it. I quit my proper desk job, downsized my life, rearranged my home and my priorities. I was told there was no "boudoir" in Casper, Wyoming. That this is a more conservative sort of place, and I wasn't in California anymore. I worried they were right, but I worked and studied and learned and toiled to prove that authentic, intimate portraiture of women is not cheesey, trashy, seedy or tacky.

I had this idea. I sought you out and asked you to trust me, and you did. I talked with you and learned your favorite drink, your deepest fear, the part of your body you don't like to see in the mirror, your secret wish, what makes you happiest. I saw you, blushing and all butterflies, and I told you to jump on the bed and toss your hair, and you laughed so hard... it sounded like Happy, and you took my breath away. I photographed you that way. I showed you what my camera and I saw that day, and you cried because you didn't know. You said you'd never ever forget. I hugged you goodbye at the door and in that moment I thought of my mother, smiling wide, and of my baby girl's shining eyes.





So, I had this idea several years ago, and this idea became my whole life.

January 15, 2008 was my first photo shoot. 5 years. I've been living my passion for 5 years! This is not just a fun time for you, or an easy form of photography for me to tack on to a list of services to make a quick buck. These are not just pictures of you in your prettiest panties and high heels. These are not merely a gift for the guy lucky enough to call you, "baby." These are not even boudoir. These are real life photographs of the real you during a real experience that changed us both.

Today, I relish a kinship with the 107 women in Casper who've inspired me to walk with more sway and smile a knowing little smile. I cannot thank you enough for giving me the real, raw you with your darkest Fuck You scars, your most raucous laughter, and all your personal truths behind those eyes. Keep it coming. I will, too.


Yes, thank you, more please.

xo
Sara LeeAnn